what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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