i already hear my dad disowning me
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Randomize
