Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
