that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
