in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
