The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I can feel your judgement through the phone
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
