I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
