Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Randomize
