I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
