my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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