fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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