He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
