It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Randomize
