I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
