hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
