Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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