I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
