sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Randomize
