Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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