I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
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