i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
