Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
i already hear my dad disowning me
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
