remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
