theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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