This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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