I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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