we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
