Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
