I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
