We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
