my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
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