it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
