Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
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