I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
