I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
