My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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