God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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