We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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