Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Randomize
