No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Randomize
