So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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