AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
