I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Randomize
