Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
