Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
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