Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
This is my gift to your gina
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
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