OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
