i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Randomize
