we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
