I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
