I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
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